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As recent as last year, we had judges suggesting the victim wouldn't have been had they just.......just dressed better. Just not drank, just not attended a party.   Never did these judges look at the man and say, hey, dude, you had zero right to touch this victim.  Nope, judges in our court systems were excusing the rapists because the victim did something they felt contributed. 

No means no. Period.   And I'm sad more are coming forward because I wish so many didn't experience it. But I'm glad so many are finding their voice. And I hope and pray victims today, the new ones, get justice these others won't ever get.

Keep in mind, in most cases, these "Me, too's" will never get justice. Ever.  Statute of limitations.   Sadly, we've lived in a society where they wouldn't have gotten justice when the assault or rape happened.   These women coming forward?  They aren't winning.   They know full well that many women are doing just like you have done, questioned them, their motives, their story.  

Carrie Courter

It was widely known, and I was warned about it, that the PhD/MD hit on women, regularly, and those who told the powers that be?  Well their position was easier to fill than this research scientist and medical doctor.  After all, secretaries, nurses, research assistants, they could be moved to a different department or replaced.  The lead scientist on ground breaking research, not so much.  So women either put up with the harassment, which included him touching their breasts, behinds, kisses, etc, or they knew they would be fired.  Because he was a powerful important person to this university hospital. 

Now, the other man I worked for at the same time, he was kind.  He, too, had research assistants.  One named Mike, when I started work at end of August 2004, he was friendly to me.  We chatted during lunch. He told me about his wife and his two kids.  I told him about my divorce and my son, Robert.  We discussed a teacher our two sons had had, and both disliked.  One day, he asked if I wouldn't mind typing something up, and could he pick it up from my apartment later that because it was something for his sons scout troop, and we lived a few blocks from each other.   I said sure.  Mike was nice.  I knew his wife, had met his kids.  

Mike showed up around 9:30 that night.  I had expected him around 6:30.  Turns out his son wasn't in scouts, what I typed up and printed for him was just his excuse to see me outside of work.   I didn't know this at first though.  I actually didn't learn this until the next day.   That night though, he followed me into my apartment, I invited him in.  I was wearing my nightgown, and a robe.   Now, Texas, Galveston, October, it's still too warm to be wearing a heavy robe.  But I put it on before I answered the door.  See, I figured Mike wasn't coming, he got held up, so I put Robert to bed, and I began doing the night stuff.   So I'm standing in my living room, and he had clearly been drinking.  I said I'd grab the papers, went into my bedroom.  Where my computer and printed were.  He followed me.  Pushed me into the bed, pinned me, opened my robe, lifted up my nightgown, and I'm not going into further detail about what he did, but I'm sure everyone has the picture, and if you don't, well, needless to say, I wasn't an active participant, I was begging him no, and tried to fight, but was so scared of screaming and my son waking up and seeing this. 

The next day, I reported it.  To both city and university police.   Guess what Kristin?   I shouldn't have bothered.  Want to know why these women aren't reporting it when it happens?  This was 2004.  Not 1974, 1984, 1994. No.  This century.  13 years ago.  13.   Apparently, I came on to him because I was wearing a robe.  I shouldn't have invited him in, I apparently did so hoping to seduce him.  Oh, and apparently because I knew he had drunk wine (I could smell it on his breath when he tried to kiss me during the assault), I shouldn't have let him in.  I was also told I could have fought back and screamed if I didn't really want to be, well, raped.  And, again, 2004, I was told, by a FEMALE, that I must have really wanted to have sex with Mike because I opened my legs.   She missed the part where he forced them open.  October 2004.   

I was also told that if I took it further, I'd be tarnishing his reputation.  And it could destroy the research project he was on.  

Oh. And that divorce I was going through?  Well, you knew my ex online.   He tried to use this, because for a day I didn't drop it, I tried like he'll to get him arrested.  But someone let Adam know.  And my lawyer called, saying he got papers contesting custody of Robert, because I was sexually promiscuous.  Me, the woman who has only had intercourse with two men, both of whom I married, and raped by a man.  And he'd drop it if I'd drop my claim against Mike, an innocent man I had seduced to try to discredit him for whatever reason.

That, Kristin, is why women kept quiet when it happened.  Because half the time the victim is treated like the one at fault.  Not the rapist or the person doing the harassment.  The victim. 

Carrie Courter