Re: [BigBrother_Survivor] 'Bachelor in Paradise' recap Opening Night

by Crime Time Tamil on August 09, 2018

When I saw Krystal I thought maybe I won't watch this summer. But then she's acting normal and not speaking in whispers so we'll see what happens. I really don't care about Tia and Colton we've heard enough about them already!
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On Wed, 8/8/18, C G ceegee2006@yahoo.com [BigBrother_Survivor] <BigBrother_Survivor@yahoogroups.com> wrote:

Subject: [BigBrother_Survivor] 'Bachelor in Paradise' recap Opening Night
To:
Date: Wednesday, August 8, 2018, 2:22 PM

So
is anyone going to watch this? Krystal is in Paradise How
neat wonder who she will harass ..LOL
'Bachelor
in Paradise' recap: Newsflash! Tia isn't over
Colton

'Bachelor
in Paradise' recap: Newsflash! Tia isn't over
Colton Becca and Garrett
have chosen to do the damn thing together. Mazel tov to
them, but I think history has…

S
P
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L
E
R

S
P
A
C
EBachelor
in Paradise premiere recap: Love is already in the
airBecca
and Garrett have chosen to do the damn thing together. Mazel
tov to them, but I think history has taught us that pretty
much anyone can fall in love in a matter of weeks and
celebrate scoring a big fat engagement ring courtesy of
Uncle Neil.Now
Bachelor
in Paradise, on the other hand, is way different. It
doesn't take itself too seriously. Everyone knows exactly
why they are there and they embrace the meat market. If you
don't believe me, look no further than the opening montage
set to the seductive tune of "Almost
Paradise."There's
Kendall talking to the skull of an animal, Bibiana dropping
a mic, Joe bagging some groceries, Jordan (still) showcasing
his golden underwear — and my personal favorite, the girls
slo-mo pillow fighting on the outdoor beach bed.See
what I mean? It's just easier if you welcome the crazy
into your home four hours per week. Trust me..What
I did find particularly disturbing is our host Chris
Harrison raking the sand. Excuse me, ABC, but don't you
have some sort of intern to do that for Mr. Harrison?
Shouldn't he be sipping a Corona while Wells fans him with
a palm frond?Moving
on… Harrison wants us to know that this season promises
romance, tears, drama, more tears, panic attacks, and tears.
It's also the most emotional season ever, because ABC has
gathered all of Arie and Becca's rejects and pumped them
full of alcohol to see if lightning can strike three times
in Paradise. If it can happen to Jade/Tanner and Carly/Evan,
it can happen to any one of these jokers, surely.Let's
meet some of the cast.Kendall
(Arie's season) is our favorite taxidermy enthusiast who
just wants people to know she's more than dead animals and
has no intention of stuffing one of those sand crabs as a
souvenir. Chris (Becca's season) is embarrassed everyone
saw his Crazy Eddie impression and he
wants a do over. He also has a Paradise gang name. You can
call him "The Goose."Krystal
(Arie's season) suffers from the way she was portrayed
last season, and Annaleise (also Arie) suffers from
everything, including but not limited to: bumper cars, dogs,
sand, thunder, water, red heads, and birds. David and Jordan
(Becca's season) are doing fine. One lives with his mother
and the other just wants to drink white wine and watch chick
flicks. I'll let you determine which is which.Wills
(Becca's season) promises to keep his eyes open this time,
and Bibs (Arie's season) claims, "If my ass gets
blurred, I'm doing something right."Ladies and gentlemen, Paradise is officially open.
Use the appropriate amount of antibacterial hand sanitizer
and proceed with caution.Tia
(Arie's season) is up first and I don't know if you know
this, but she's not over Colton. She spends the entire day
waiting for him to come traipsing down the cobblestone steps
into her loving arms. With every baritone greeting that
calls over the ocean, she is left with disappointment.
That's why she barely registers Eric's presence
(Rachel's season) and doesn't flinch when he compliments
her teeth and feet.Kendall, Jordan, and
Bibiana arrive next. Kendall is joyful as expected. Jordan
is happy this place is "as beautiful as me." And Bibs is
waiting for her "hoo-ha" to whisper which lucky stud is
the best one for her.I
love this show so much.A few
more of Becca's discards arrive. Grocery Store Joe makes
his official debut and we are treated to more than thirty
seconds of his goofy personality. Kudos to him for making a
bizarre "graveyard picnic" conversation with Kendall not
so weird.Wills
meets resident bartender therapist Wells and Chris bellies
up to the bar without saying much of anything. Again, his
goal is to be the better man this go around. I think if he
sticks to writing his feelings down in lyrical form like
Richard Marx taught him, he should be fine.Chelsea
and Krystal from Arie's season arrive and everyone is
surprised to learn that Krystal no longer suffers from Snow
White Voice Syndrome. Krystal immediately zeros in on
Grocery Store Joe to the chagrin of Kendall. She and the guy
who carried a watermelon bond over the fact that they are
both part Norwegian.A guy
named Kevin who found love and lost it on the first season
of the Canadian Bachelorette
bursts through the tropical forest, followed by a topless
Nick and Venmo John, both from Becca's season. Venmo
wastes no time and whisks Kendall away so they can nerd out
together.Nysha
(Arie's season) manages to show up on the beach without
blowing over. Kenny (Rachel's season) is the resident old
dude who just wants to have fun. Nick's former flames
Astrid and someone named Angela (who is this girl?) round
out this wave of contestants. Everyone goes ga-ga over the
mysterious Angela while Venmo calls Tia out for staring in
the general vicinity of the newcomer staircase.Did
you hear? She really wants Colton to come to Paradise. I'm
not sure if I made myself clear earlier.Jordan hits on Annaleise and admits that Chicken
David (Becca's season) is the worst. Naturally David comes
bounding down the stairs next. Bless it. David is also the
bearer of bad news: He's the last one to arrive in
Paradise.This
sends Tia into a fit of emotion, which is very dramatic,
because everyone knows that new people show up to Paradise
all the time. It's a revolving door. You try islanders on
and see if they fit. If they don't, you hand them off to
your friend in the dressing room next door. If they still
don't fit, they are sent to the bargain bin.
Duh.Harrison
gathers the troops, does a little math, and points out that
there are nine ladies and ten men. This is immediately
confirmed by Venmo. Since the guys outnumber the girls,
someone with a Y chromosome is heading home at the next rose
ceremony before they even have a chance to get a
sunburn.Let
the games begin.Grocery
Store Joe grabs Tia for a quick visit. He sits there like an
adorably bored bump on a log while she drones on and on
about Colton. She confesses that he is on her mind all the
time.Shocker.The
date card arrives and guess whose name is on the top? Why
it's Tia of course! The one girl who came to Paradise to
find love with a specific former football player must ask
another man to accompany her to dinner. Ugh. Her life is the
worst.After
crying over her terrible luck that Colton is not here, Tia
decides not to get into her own head because she knows she
will regret that later. She must stop thinking about hunky
Colton and starting thinking about what she wants. And what
she wants is Chris.Someone
is pleasantly surprised! Not enough to button his Hawaiian
shirt all the way, but surprised enough. Poor Grocery Store
Joe licks his wounds, figuring Tia didn't pick him because
she doesn't care for his accent. This is the moment when
Krystal detects an injured gazelle near the watering hole
and goes in for the kill.Oh,
and the nodes are back.Krystal works her magic and is straight up
appalled when Joe asks for another private audience with
Kendall. The nerve. What's the opposite of a glitter
bomb?Joe
and Kendall lounge on the beach bed and Kendall comments on
how none of the guys have been aggressively trying to claim
the women. Joe laughs and says, "That's what I'm doing
right now!"Kendal
LOVES this and everything else about Joe. She proves it by
making out with him. Joe concludes that Kendall is the best
thing about Paradise. I'm sure he meant from this moment
onward, because five seconds ago, Tia was the best thing
about Paradise.Details.Naturally
Krystal is playing a game of "I Spy" and drops Grocery
Store Joe like a hot potato in lieu of a certain Canadian,
eh? Kevin escorts her to another beach bed and shoves a
thousand chips in his mouth. Between swallows, he tells
Krystal that she is the hottest girl there. Then he makes
out with her over his beloved bowl of salsa. How
romantic.Inside the hut on yet another
bed, Nick tries to make a move on Chelsea. Although he
can't remember her son's name and basically insinuates
he is fishing for a rose, Chelsea claims digestive distress
and leaves Nick to belly flop into the pool. Something tells
me he and his abs are going home first.Let's
talk about Tia's date with Chris. Hold onto your
sombreros, because Tia actually likes Chris and has
officially squashed any false hope that Colton may be in her
future. Chris is pumped at this news and toasts every other
sentence.Everyone
assumes that Tia and Chris will end up in the Friend Zone
after their date because the girl says Colton's name five
times per hour. You can imagine their surprise when Tia and
Chris wake up the next morning all lovey dovey, invading
each other's personal space.Tia
giggles to the producers, "Colton who?" Then the clouds
gather and thunder crashes. Metaphorically of course. It's
bright and shiny and very humid. I know this because Colton
arrives in sunny Paradise with a touch of perspiration
soaking through his skin tight turquoise tee.The
producers wisely gather everyone on the beach bed so the
moment is extra uncomfortable. Colton waves his date card
around in the air and then asks Kendall to join him on an
adjacent lounger. Kendall remains calm and generously tells
Colton that Tia went out on a date the day before. She also
tells him he needs to figure out what's going on with
their relationship.While Colton gets
the 4-1-1 from Kendall, the rest of the women are livid that
Tia was not the first person Colton snagged. All claim this
is a huge red flag and all eyes roll when he talks to Angela
next. They vow to make Angela's giggle a drinking game. If
someone gets drunk enough to cut her Disney princess hair in
the middle of the night, so be it.A
random group of misfits (Jordan, Nick, and Chris) quickly
form the Goose Gang and their sole purpose is to rag on
Colton. They want to know Colton's intensions. All believe
he's here for fame and InstaFortune. Plus, Jordan thinks
that Colton isn't a threat because Chris has three things
Colton does not: Chris is not a virgin, Tia picked Chris for
the date (even though Colton was technically not there to
pick), and Chris has great hair. Boom.Things
really get tense when Colton asks Tia on the date. While
bumming around on a yacht, they reminisce on their fabulous
weekend that caused all sorts of chaos during Becca's
season. Tia flat out asks Colton if they should give this a
shot, because she's interested. Colton flat out answers
with a vague "I don't know" and then sticks his tongue
down her throat.Tia
shoves her heart through the slightly open door. She goes
all in on the jet ski and makes out with him the remainder
of the date. Anything is possible in Paradise,
right?Of
course, the girls are all concerned for Tia's heart. They
believe that Colton needs to commit to Tia or go home. If he
commits, both Tia and Colton are off limits. If he doesn't
commit and he stays, he's a jack wagon. Decisions,
decisions.The
Goose Gang has a different tactic. They are ready to peck
their way into victory. They claim they will shut Colton
down since he's clearly not interested in Tia for the
right reasons. Chris is ready to fight for his
woman.Wherever you go, whatever you do, the Goose will
be right here waiting for you.

__._,_.___

Posted by: "Donna M." <crow_donna2002@yahoo.com>

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