Re: [BigBrother_Survivor] 'The Bachelor' Recap: Krystal's Meltdown and Two Boring Dates

 

The women are entertaining but I find Arie so boring I doubt there will be a marriage from this season!
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On Mon, 1/29/18, C G ceegee2006@yahoo.com [BigBrother_Survivor] <BigBrother_Survivor@yahoogroups.com> wrote:

Subject: [BigBrother_Survivor] 'The Bachelor' Recap: Krystal's Meltdown and Two Boring Dates
To:
Date: Monday, January 29, 2018, 11:57 PM























 My
F4? any 4 but Krystal

 'The
Bachelor' Recap: Krystal 's Meltdown and Two Boring
Dates
Monday,
January 29, 2018
Bill King
Contributing
Writer, BuddyTV
Arie Luyendyk Jr. is about halfway through his
quest for televised love in season 22 of The
Bachelor, having trimmed his racing field from 29 to 13.
But in a season when the means to the end is more
interesting than the end itself, the question is not what
will happen but when.

The
two women getting the lion's share of screen time --
Coach Krystal and deceptively sexy nanny Bekah -- are both
destined for the scrapheap, though the outlook for the
22-year-old is rosier because her parts are newer and with
far less mileage.


But
the ticking clock is a cruel mistress for the fitness guru,
who at 30 is the oldest remaining suitorette and the only
one to have climbed that hill into Arie's decade. And
after six other ladies on Father Time's bad side were
sent packing, we know he likes 'em young. So ... is this
the episode?
Old and Young Collide on Spring
Break
Will
Coach K. finally crash and burn, becoming Arie's first
flaming wreck that didn't take place on a track? Even if
she wasn't the sole source of drama, she deserves to go
based on voice alone. Ohhhh, that voice. It's like
stilettos on a chalkboard and prompts instant
impressions. Oh
my god, I'm, like, so happy? And I'm, like, totally
here for Arie? And it's so hard not to intimidate the
others because they, like, totes think I'm flawless?
Byeeee. Ugh. Gag me with a spoon.
It's
amazing that with all the steaming hot messes of garbage
we've dealt with over 22 seasons, Krystal 's
Valspeak might be the most annoying thing that's ever
happened. And I'm including subway riders who sneeze
into their hands and then grab the pole in the middle of a
potentially Last
Man on Earth-style flu season. Grody to the
max. 
The
next stop on the Bachelor
World Tour is sunny Fort Lauderdale, which has spent decades trying to shed its
reputation as a destination for rowdy spring
breakers in favor of a more wholesome image. Congrats, Fort
Lauderdale, you landed The
Bachelor. So mission accomplished, I guess. But,
seriously, what better place to determine who is mature
enough to be wife material than the land of beer bongs and
"Female Body Inspector" T-shirts?
Check Out My Huge Boat
The
first one-on-one goes to single mom realtor Chelsea , who
has basically been invisible since getting the first
impression rose (outside of glam-shaming Marikh ), and they
spend the day sipping champagne and hot tubbing on a
not-at-all-phallically-symbolic 100-foot yacht.
"I'm not only on a dream boat," Chelsea coos,
channeling her best corny dad. "I'm with a
dream boat." Yuck.
Arie
asks about the baby daddy over dinner, and Chelsea opens up
about coming home to find her belongings in trash bags when
her son was just 6 months old. Pops is now married to the
"other woman," and they recently welcomed their
own son. It's somber yet endearing, and her strength and
independence earns her a rose before a private performance
by country artist (checks cue card) Tenille
Arts.  
The
lyrics are intense and in tune with Chelsea's
vulnerability, and maybe next time they should restrict the
conversation to her bizarre squiggle of a wrist tattoo and
his monstrosity of an eagle wing under the
armpit. 
Bowling for Soup
Back
at the hotel, photog in a race car Maquel has returned from
her grandfather's funeral! The women joyously welcome
her back because she is 23 and way more ready for marriage
than that pesky 22-year-old chick with the boy
hair. 
The
group date -- There's not a moment to spare -- goes to
everyone but Tia the jubilant Weiner Queen of Arkansas, who
will be getting her first solo date. But the other 11 are
headed to the bowling alley because you're never too old
to ask someone if they have nine-pound balls. It's also
the most interesting thing to do in Fort Lauderdale that
doesn't involve a white tank top and a garden
hose.
After
Arie capitalizes on fancy editing to bowl a strike, the
ladies "split" up into "The Spare Roses"
and "The Pinups" ("Pin Pals" was taken?)
with a private after-party on the line. But despite the team
atmosphere, Coach K. decides to play it aloof in the hopes
that Arie will step up and focus on validating her.
Team
Krystal, hooting and hollering all the while, proves more
adept at knocking down pins and gets the win. It's cool,
though, because Seinne is way too good for these woo girls
anyway. But then Arie changes his mind and invites the
losers as well.


The Great Unraveling
Krystal
does not take the news of a joint gathering well, using the
ride home to dub Arie a disrespectful liar she can no longer
trust. So while 10 women get dressed to the nines, the 11th
packs her bags and pouts in a bathrobe.
She
trusts that Arie will spring to her rescue, and he makes a
beeline for her after the others spill the beans about the
character assassination. His response screams, "But
have you seen my eyes? They're so blue and honest!"
The jilted are peeved that Krystal is getting the first
one-on-one time in a date she's not even on, but
they're hopeful it will be her last. 
Arie
addresses her tantrum, calling out her bullshit for creating
a distraction while forcing him to pull back. He suggests
that she stay home while he enjoys his date with the
normies, and they'll reassess in a few days. Now go to
bed without your cookies, bitch.
Arie
proceeds to strengthen his bonds with
stuffed-animals-don't-say-no Kendall and Bekah, again
mentioning her 22-ishness as a possible red flag. Thank god
Maquel is 23. He also brings fake proposal publicist and
emerging favorite Becca into his room for a kissfest,
stating that she deserves something
"extra." 
Here She Comes...
Since
there was no chance this wasn't happening, Krystal
gussies herself up and heads to the after-party against
Arie's wishes because him making decisions doesn't
sit well with her. Her ill-advised appearance riles up the
competition, and it's short-lived after Bekah unloads on
her. 

Seinne , who again is simply too good for this nonsense,
cannot comprehend what Krystal is trying to do, and only
Lauren Lauren B. is fed-up and stalks off. It is unclear if
Arie is aware that Coach K. came back or if he even knows
who Lauren B. is. 
To
fill this void, Lauren engages in a rousing game of 21
Questions, in which at least four of them involve how Arie
likes various breakfast items. She throws him for a loop
with the shocking revelation that she enjoys her coffee with
coconut milk, and he exclaims, "Wow," before
awarding the date rose for her wild sense of
adventure.
You Can Take the Girl Out of Weiner
But...
Arie
and Tia hit the Everglades for an air-boat ride through
Sawgrass Recreation Park, seeing gators and turtles on their
way to a mansion built smack dab in the middle of the swamp.
Gerald's his name and frogging's his game, and the
proprietor serves gross fried delicacies as the couple
cozies up on a porch swing. It's gotta be better than
drinking your own pee, right?
The
butterflies are fluttering as they discuss their passions
and life in Arkansas, and the smooch-laden day gives way to
the smitten-kitten night as Tia lays out the details of her
personal life. Seven years of college that ended with
"a doctor degree" wasn't enough to learn her
good taste in men, and her "type" is a fixer-upper
with a troubled past. 
They
clash a bit over his lack of faith in a higher power shaping
his destiny -- because she was raised in the church like a
good southern girl -- but it's a not a deal-breaker as
long as she understands his perspective. Then, as my wife
cover her eyes, literally unable to watch, Tia professes
that she's falling in love and gets the rose. And
it's fine because he's only 10 years older than
her.
For
the third time, my wife shakes her head and mutters,
"Why do we watch this?"
Cocktails and Catfights
The
weight of Krystal's antics looms large at the cocktail
party, and the friendless coach has been holed up in her
room ever since. She claims she wasn't hiding, rather
"investing in myself and growing from the struggle ...
I was discovering." She confides this in the other
women, who could not give fewer shits. 

Kendall wants to keep it light and be a breath of fresh air,
so she inquires as to whether Arie would ever sample human
flesh as a meal. Meanwhile, 11 ladies openly discuss their
hatred of Krystal within earshot of Krystal. 
Coach
K. offers to hash it out, one-on-one, with whoever wants to
have a talk, delusionally assuming they will somehow be
sympathetic to her hurt feelings. Tia and Kendall urge her
to take ownership of her actions, while Bekah points out
that she's blind to everyone else and flat-out asks why
she's still here. 
The
efforts grind to a halt when Krystal insists that Arie was
grossly out of line by changing
his mind and inviting everyone
to the after-party, and here's how she sums up her
efforts at being nice: "I just honestly feel like a lot
of the girls here don't operate, like, at my level, and
I'm tired of lowering myself to try to stoop to theirs.
Like, I'm done. Done." Jazz hands. "That was
glitter." Halfhearted jazz hands.
"Glitter."
50 Shades of Crazy

Jacqueline , who I still know nothing about other than the
fact that she wore an opening night dress that was both
high-cut and low-cut, capitalizes on all the distractions
for some snogging. But, of course, it all goes back to
Krystal.
When
Arie advises her to be more thoughtful with some of her
reactions so they don't lose what they have, she makes a
ridiculous pivot to her childhood and being raised in a
bowling alley while her mom paraded around an endless loop
of promise breakers who offered nothing but trust
issues. 
She
cutely calls it "our first fight," to which Arie
awesomely replies, "It could be our last fight."
Her takeaway is that she should be commended for showing so
many varied emotions in such a short period of time, which
most refer to as "unhinged" or
"bipolar."  The decision to continue
navigating this minefield has to be out of his hands at this
point.
Arie the Dream Crusher
Tia
the Weiner Queen of Arkansas, only Lauren Lauren B. and
single mom realtor Chelsea are safe, and the remaining roses
go to: 
Deceptively
sexy nanny BekahFavorite
elephant cuff links SeinneStuffed-animals-don't-say-no
KendallFake
proposal publicist and emerging favorite BeccaLow-cut/high-cut
Jacqueline with the hairDumb-or-drunk
JennaCoach
Krystal
Boom.
And just like that, Arie drops the hammer on this
season's Ashley , Indian restaurant co-owner Marikh and
photog in a race car Maquel. We hardly knew ye. Seriously,
it's amazing that from this group, we knew the most
about Marikh . And at least half of that knowledge --
including her love of gym selfies -- I made up based purely
on assumptions. 
And
ladies and (both) gentlemen, Krystal is still here!
"Good things are worth fighting for," she mutters,
smirking and clutching her rose. "It took so much
courage for me to come here tonight. ... If the girls
thought that I was a threat before, then watch out,
ladies."
It's
astounding how quickly her insecurities can manifest into
arrogance, truly the power of the flower. 
Au Revoir
Arie
is about to whisk his top 10 to Paris for at least one more
week of everyone hating Krystal, as producers drag out the
only remaining source of tension as long as they can. How
much time does she logically have? It has to be over soon,
right?
I'm
still buying into a final four of Seinne, Tia, Becca and
Bekah. But from there, who knows?

Who
are you favorites at this point and who do you predict Arie
ends up with? Is it someone with whom we're familiar or
will one of the unknowns emerge late, Catherine-style,
during the second half of the season? Finally, who will
provide the drama once Krystal returns to her dolls?
(I'm making another assumption about her owning a doll
collection. It's nutty, but it's gotten to a point
where I'm actually starting to feel sorry for her. How
can a real person lack any semblance of self-awareness?
It's sad. To quote my wife, why do we watch this?
Because everybody wants love -- and train wrecks.) Let us
know your thoughts in the comments section below.
The
Bachelor airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC. Want more news? Like our Bachelor Facebook page.

(Image
courtesy of ABC)





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Posted by: "Donna M." <crow_donna2002@yahoo.com>

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