[Reality-TV-Fanatics] 'The Bachelor' Recap: Arie Deals with Bekah's Age and Krystal's Rage

 

Don't like Krystal but you know she will be staying each week for awhile anyway. The  one I really dont see going much further is Bekah  . I just don't think she is mature enuf for a lasting relationship at this time.

I felt sorry for Maquel  leaving because her gramps passed away.

I have no favorites so far. I have only ONE UNFAVORITE  Krystal!

  'The Bachelor' Recap: Arie Deals with Bekah's Age and Krystal's Rage
Monday, January 22, 2018

Bill King
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV

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Arie Luyendyk Jr. is about to kick off his third round of dates in season 22 of The Bachelor, and as I sat down to prep this recap, my only thought was, "What the hell am I going to write about?"

I don't want to say Arie's quest for televised love has been boring -- it's actually been quite entertaining -- but yet it seems totally devoid of any noteworthy talking points.

Where's all the drama? We have a villain who has all but disappeared since getting the first-impression rose and another whose most disparaging attributes are Valley Girl voice inflections and the fact that she doesn't divulge enough about her relationship. And who is her foil now that Bibiana is gone?

Putting the Ho in Lake Tahoe

The most controversial thing that's happened so far is the question of whether ABC went too far in mocking a contestant who is afraid of tiny old dogs and bumper cars. With so many glaring red flags from most of the women, we have a fairly predictable final group, even though we don't freaking know any of them yet.

This episode's crescendo, billed by ABC as a "stunning revelation," is deceptively sexy nanny Bekah's age, which we have all known would be a deal-breaker since night one. 

Will Arie be able to look past this admission once he realizes he can't convert her age from Celsius to Fahrenheit? Here's a hint: no ... even though he probably will need a romp in the fantasy suite to "make sure." 

Arie and his "pits" crew are also leaving the confines of the mansion, but we're supposed to be excited about a trip to Lake Tahoe? That's like going to Florida and hitting up Jacksonville. Sigh...

Welcome to Nevada

After the gals gossip about Bekah's youthful exuberance while the deceptively sexy nanny takes a solo dip in the pool, Dad Bod Harrison drops by to inform the 15 remaining suitorettes that they'll be starting a world-traversing journey that includes such exotic locations as Fort Lauderdale. But the first stop is the ravenous bear-infested beaver's nest that is South Lake Tahoe. 

Favorite elephant cuff links Seinne gets the first one-on-one -- Let's let our love soar -- and joins Arie on a parasailing adventure. They glide through the sky while the other precocious kittens peer on through binoculars, and the couple then discusses Arie's brother's wedding and their relationship potential over champagne, snuggles and smooches.

Seinne confesses over dinner that between her parents' martial troubles and a childhood that lacked fairy tale heroines of color who looked like her, happy endings have been few and far between. She once even swore off love, viewing vulnerability as a weakness, but Arie offers reassurances that he's had a good feeling about her from the beginning. 

She gets the rose, and they cap the night off by dancing to the music of LANCO. Fun facts: the band has apparently been active since 2013, and the name is short for Lancaster and Company. Okay, maybe just facts.

I Got Worms

Photog in a race car Maquel gets bad news that her Pop-Pop has passed away unexpectedly, so she packs her bag and heads home. She won't win because she's only 23 (why aren't the chatty Cathys gossiping about her?), but I hope she comes back because I'd like to get to know her better.

The group date -- Will our love survive? -- goes to single mom realtor Chelsea, Coach Krystal, fake proposal publicist and emerging favorite Becca, Indian restaurant co-owner Marikh, this year's Ashley Ashley, low-cut/high-cut Jacqueline, drunk-or-dumb Jenna, Tia the Weiner Queen of Arkansas, stuffed-animals-don't-say-no Kendall, tech salesperson and only Lauren Lauren B., poor Dutch linguist and Smasher of Cars Brittany, and non-kidded booberrific real estate agent Caroline.

They hike into the snowy wilderness with survivalists Mykel Hawke and Ruth England-Hawke, who test their relationship mettle by forcing them to chow down on worms and sip recycled pee. Arie goes bottoms up first, but he fesses up that it's apple juice moments before Jenna is about to start chugging. 

Journey to the Center of the Hot Tub

Kendall gets Coach K's attention by stealing Arie for a kiss, and then it's time to strap on giant backpacks and follow the map to a champagne-soaked hot tub oasis in the middle of nowhere. Marikh is more of a "gym selfie" type of girl, though, and she's particularly out of her element in boots that are designed to be practical.

Once they reach their destination, the clothes come off for steamy bikini-clad feats of strength (and the big reveal of Arie's "sucking it in" four-pack abs). But the claws come out as 12 competitors jockey for Jacuzzi positioning, and Coach K laments the difficulties of standing out in a group setting.

She's still on the rampage at the after-party, pouring out her tender hurt feelings to Arie while employing excessive lip biting and her best Clueless impression. (It's like nails on a chalkboard at this point.) She even makes him stave off an interruption before confronting Tia and Caroline over alleged bullying while portraying herself as the innocent victim.

Meanwhile, Lauren vows to be more open as she searches for a future of being old while spanking butts and telling dirty jokes, while Kendall has always wanted to eat bugs and has a travel buddy in the form of a taxidermied duckling. It's both gross and cute, and he's oddly attracted to her.

Tia ends up with the rose, prompting Krystal to demonstrate her complete lack of self-awareness by whining about the competition's "overbearing need to be seen" and being "floored with the insecurities and immaturity here." Every time she talks, my wife and I turn to each other and grimace.

Quiz: Who is Your Ideal Bachelor?>>>

Kids These Days

Bekah's solo date -- I'm looking for a stable relationship -- is a romantic horseback ride through the picturesque mountainside. Arie foreshadows the big reveal by touting Bekah's maturity and depth, and they end up sipping bubbly in a secluded outdoor hot tub. Seriously, how many hot tubs are nestled in the woodsy areas of Lake Tahoe? It's Nevada, not Daytona Beach.

The chemistry is palpable as she fingers the scar of his once-shattered collarbone, and there's make-out sessions sprinkled throughout his retelling of yet another failed racing experience the rollover crash that caused it. 

Over dinner and wine, he inquires as to her readiness for a lifelong commitment and if she still likes to go out and party. Then she drops the "bombshell" that she's barely able to drink said alcohol, and he has to cover his mouth to suppress the audible gasp. 

Get Off My Lawn

This girl has never seen a classic Saturday Morning Cartoon. She thinks DuckTales is a brand-new show. Does she even know what a cassette tape is? 

He clutches her face and ponders their lack of a future, admitting, "I'm 36. You're 22. It's creepy as f***." (I'm paraphrasing). They're both terrified, but he figures that he's close enough to a mid-life crisis to see how this plays out and, as such, she gets the rose.

Sensing his trepidation, she flips the script and regains control by advising him to let her go in search of someone more "ready." But he professes that he's not ready to let her go, apparently needing one last dip in the Fountain of Youth before acting his age. 

After all, he's not going to have many chances to spend a night with a woman born when he was in high school, especially if he's all wifed up at the end of this.

Coach K's Technical Foul

Krystal is fearful ahead of the rose ceremony, questioning if she will be eliminated after her "character was attacked." Of course, her error in judgment is to confide this in all the women who view her as fake and stupid. 

"I'd eliminate her based on the voice alone," my wife says, before Dad Bod stuns the group by announcing that there will be no cocktail party. The posies go to...

Halt! Coach Krystal calls a time-out, stealing a moment of Arie's time to reaffirm their connection and tout how proud she is of all the apparent barriers they've broken down. She's here for him and not for games, and she's all but assaulting him with the crimson flagpole. 

Now, let's try this again. Tia, Bekah and Seinne are safe, and the roses go to...

Tech salesperson and only Lauren Lauren B.

Stuffed-animals-don't-say-no Kendall

This season's Ashley

Fake proposal publicist and emerging favorite Becca

Single mom realtor Chelsea

Drunk-or-dumb Jenna

Low-cut/high-cut Jacqueline

Indian restaurant co-owner Marikh

Coach Krystal

Ugh. 

This means non-kidded booberrific real estate agent Caroline and poor Dutch linguist/Smasher of Cars Brittany are joining Maquel in the scrapheap. Even though neither was destined for the long haul, I wish they could've gotten a bit more time to shine. 

But daddy needs his drama, and Coach K is the only source of tension we have left. 

Southbound and Down

Arie and his dirty dozen are off to the Sunshine State for beaches, booze and besos, with all eyes on Krystal's increasingly erratic behavior. Has Arie already caught on or has she pulled the wool over his eyes and carved a place in his heart? 

How long will Arie let the short-haired rock-climbing nanny stick around and does anyone legitimately think she has a chance to be the sole recipient of his affections? Can a 22-year-old be ready for marriage with a man 14 years her senior or does she have too much life to live before being capable of settling down? 

Are Tia, Seinne and Becca still the favorites? Which relationships will grow and who will fall by the wayside? Finally, will Marikh be able to curry any favor or is she destined to spend her time on the mat, crafting the perfect pose after two sit-ups and a halfhearted plank? (Time will tell, but it appears we are racing toward a rather predictable finish. Hopefully, Arie can actually win this time.) Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.

Who deserved to stick around?

Non-kidded booberrific realtor Caroline

44%

Arie got it right

29%

Photog in a race car Maquel

16%

Poor Dutch linguist/Smasher of Cars Brittany

11%

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC. Want more news? Like our Bachelor Facebook page.

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