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 I cant believe it is almost over. Seems like it just started a couple weeks ago. I think there will be 2 couples Derek and Taylor  that will last awhile and maybe Dean and Dlo but that may not last long. I am glad the 3 that came and went as fast are not there any more. I got a headache from watching them ;LOL

 'Bachelor in Paradise' Recap: Can the Twins Break Up Any Couples?
Tuesday, September 05, 2017

Derek Stauffer
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV

Bachelor in Paradise season 4 has been a mess for a lot of reasons and has missed on a lot of the series' best elements. There's been no real (new) standout cast members on Bachelor in Paradise outside of maybe Raven. In a last-ditch effort to save the season, this episode brings on two of the biggest stars from season 3, twins Emily and Hayley Ferguson. While there's nothing wrong with the idea of the twins coming back, in practice it serves as an example that some things are best left buried in Bachelor Nation.

The Forgotten Biracial Bisexual

The twins aren't the only late arrivals. Jami, the bisexual with (septum) balls, waltzes into Paradise. Just like The Bachelor did with Jami, Bachelor in Paradise seriously fetishizes her sexuality. Jami being bi is the only thing anyone, including herself, talks about -- and it's exhausting. It's a shame too because Jami has the type of energy that likely would've made her a fun cast member this season. 

Jami is just made a sexual sideshow. Even on her date with Diggy, the main topic of discussion is which gender Jami finds most attractive -- oh, and her ethnicity. They also talk about her racial background. Jami is reduced to these two things and nothing else. At least Diggy is getting the screen time he deserved to have on The Bachelorette, but Jami's arrival is just a disappointment.

"Mr. Steal Yo Man" Girls

Jami is nothing more than a distraction for the main event -- the return of the twins. Emily and Haley blow into Paradise and prove they really should've been on the show since the beginning. Love or hate them, the twins provide some wonderfully quotable moments and always have something to add. The twins' are fantastic TV, and the first part of the season probably would've been far less boring with them around. (Though Bachelor in Paradise probably didn't want the twins anywhere near anything as sensitive as a sex scandal, one of the shining moments in their reintroduction package is the reveal that Haley has the "better vagina.")

The twins are on two singular missions. One of them -- it's not worth trying to parse out which -- wants to go after Derek. The other, like every other woman on Paradise, is all about that Dean life. The twins share that they learned one thing, based on their previous time on Paradise: the only way to get what you want on the show is to just be ruthless. 

This is odd. The twins must've been participating in a completely different program. The two successes of Paradise -- Jade and Tanner, and Carly and Evan -- are two of the most normal and nicest couples ever. Evan probably doesn't even know the meaning of the word ruthless, let alone how to act that way. Nevertheless, this is their goal. 

With Derek, the twins quickly realize it's a dead-end. Derek's head is literally buried in Taylor's cleavage, and he ain't coming out of there for the human embodiments of every millennial cliche. With Dean, there's a little bit of a light at the end of the scummy tunnel. 

Dean's interested in the twins, but he is also starting to realize he screwed up majorly. Dean resolves to stick with D-Lo 100%. It's obvious that Dean believes it's the only way to salvage the shred of his reputation. Haley (or Emily) tries to bully Dean into a date, the sexiest of tactics, but he's not budging.

Jack Stone: Love Killer

This total rejection results in the twins having to ask out the only two available men on Paradise, Tickle Monster and Jack Stone. Neither are particularly happy about this, and it causes some cruel (but not necessarily inaccurate) assessments about the two guys from the girls. Tickles has no sense of dignity or shame, clearly, so he's all in to go on a date with two women who despise him. Jack Stone has started to smart up. Jack Stone decides that, rather than go on a date with Haley or Emily, he's going to stick around Christen. Scallops over twins is the right choice.

The problem is that Jack Stone waits until the last possible second to inform both twins that he's dumping them. Probably because he doesn't know which one asked him out, Jack Stone pulls them both aside to say he's dumping her/them. As you can expect from women who thought scallops were green vegetables and Mexico is a part of the United States, they don't take being dumped well. They freak out, start cursing and, the grand finale on top of it all, they throw scallops down at the resort as they storm out. These two are some classy broads. 

The twins are gone almost as soon as they arrived, and the whole thing feels like a huge mistake. The twins are an entree of trashy TV. They never would've worked as a peroxided chaser on the messy meal of Paradise.

One Day More

The twins' explosive exit prompts reflection from the remaining couples. Bachelor in Paradise tries its hardest to salvage some romance from this season as Derek confesses his love for Taylor, Jack Stone admits that he can see himself marrying Christen, and D-Lo says she's happy with Dean. (No offense to D-Lo, but she seems like someone who'd be happy with a plank of wood that's vaguely man-shaped.) 

It's with all this reflection that Chris Harrison arrives and drops a "stunner." It's the last day of Paradise. Everyone needs to get ready to say their goodbyes or hellos to their future and go home. 

What do you think of the penultimate episode of season 4? Were you disappointed or thrilled with the twins' arrival? Should they have been brought back? Who's your favorite couple as the season ends? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.

The Bachelor in Paradise season 4 finale airs Monday, September 11 at 8/7c on ABC. Want more news? Like our Bachelor Facebook page.

(Image courtesy of ABC)