Saturday 9 March 2019

Unlabelled [BigBrother_Survivor] How R. Kelly's Gayle King interview shows typical abuser behavior

[BigBrother_Survivor] How R. Kelly's Gayle King interview shows typical abuser behavior

by Crime Time Tamil on March 09, 2019

Did anyone watch this last night? I did .I am sure he is guilty but the way he ranted he sounds like someone falsely accused . Maybe inn his mind he doesn't consider it as sexual abuse?

If the parents gave the daughters to him then IMO they are just as guilty .

Problem is if he is in jail how is he going to pay child support? Those children of his needs the support . Catch 22.

How R. Kelly's Gayle King Interview Shows Typical Abuser Behavior

Mental health experts say Kelly's defense on "CBS This Morning" includes denial and manipulation tactics commonl...

brought a wider consciousness to his alleged pattern of disturbing abuse over the years. More of the singer's conversation with Gayle King will air as a primetime special today (March 8), but the clips that have premiered thus far show Kelly pulling out all the stops to assert his innocence. (Kelly currently faces charges on 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse in Cook County, Illinois.) Quickly turning from nonchalant to anguished to enraged, Kelly's behavior includes certain denial and manipulation tactics commonly employed by abusers, according to experts in the field.">This week, "CBS This Morning" aired a two-part interview with R. Kelly—the first he's given since "Surviving R. Kelly" brought a wider consciousness to his alleged pattern of disturbing abuse over the years. More of the singer's conversation with Gayle King will air as a primetime special today (March 8), but the clips that have premiered thus far show Kelly pulling out all the stops to assert his innocence. (Kelly currently faces charges on 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse in Cook County, Illinois.) Quickly turning from nonchalant to anguished to enraged, Kelly's behavior includes certain denial and manipulation tactics commonly employed by abusers, according to experts in the field.

From relativizing the claims to minimizing the accusers and their supporters, Kelly repeatedly distorts reality by negotiating around the accusations rather than directly engaging with them. Kelly's outsized reactions to King's reasonable questions are indicative of larger diversion patterns employed by abusers, experts say. "When you're a clinician, you can't watch this stuff without your brain flying in 15 different directions," says Maria-Anne Duncan, a licensed clinical social worker who has counseled sexual assault survivors and abusers alike. "I couldn't see him as R. Kelly, all I could see is the perpetrator who is now trying to state his case, and wasn't stating it very well, in my opinion." Adds Dr. Patrick Preston, a psychologist who works with sexual assault survivors, "The whole interview got turned into the story of his perceived victimhood and his right in the world."

At the top of the interview, Kelly says he agreed to speak to King because he is "tired of all the lies." When asked to state exactly what those lies are, Kelly mischaracterizes the allegations by focusing on the more outlandish claims, rather than the actual behaviors behind them—a classic diversion tactic. "I have a harem, a whatcha call it, a cult," he says, a small smile cracking on his face. "I don't even really know what a cult is but I know I don't have one."

Kelly also claims that his 2008 trial for 14 counts of child pornography, for which he was acquitted because the jury could not confirm the girl's identity, has influenced what people think of the current accusations, which he finds unfair and irrelevant. When King presses him to admit that "the past is relevant with you with underage girls," Kelly quickly shuts her down. "Absolutely no, it's not because for one, I beat my case," he says.

Both Dr. Preston and Duncan take pause with Kelly's repeated focus on how his past acquittal affirms his current innocence. "Most people with basic empathy pause if they're accused of something," Dr. Preston says. "But abusers manipulate that as a way of controlling the person they're abusing. So once they get caught, there's no flexibility to go outside for some self-reflection. For them [the accusation] just further supports that the world has wronged them because on some level, they believe they have the right to take whatever they want." Duncan makes a similar point, explaining that when most people are falsely accused of a crime, they do everything they can to stress their innocence. "His comment in the interview was 'I beat the charge'—and isn't it interesting that he used the word 'beat?'" she says. "What he's saying is, 'Yeah, I know I did the wrong thing, but I got away with it.'"

When King lists the names of some of Kelly's accusers—Andrea Kelly, Kitti Jones, Lisa Van Allen, Lizette Martinez, Jerhonda Pace, Faith Rogers, Asante McGee—and asks if all these women are lying in the Lifetime documentary series "Surviving R. Kelly," the singer asserts that they are. Taking on a soft, hushed voice, he says, "You can start a rumor on a guy like me or a celebrity just like that. All you have to do is push a button on your phone and say: 'So and so did this to me. R. Kelly did this to me.'" If one woman can make money or gain clout from defaming him, he suggests, others will follow, blaming "the power of social media."

From there, Kelly begins to rely on histrionics as a means of gaining sympathy. "I have been assassinated, I have been buried alive," he says, as tears well in his eyes. Though it may seem obvious, Dr. Preston points out that crying is a common manipulation strategy for accused abusers. "You look at R. Kelly, you look at Bill O'Reilly, you look at Bill Cosby, and you see this similar tactic of making themselves the victim, shaming, blaming, even the crocodile tears. It's one thing if somebody's crying because they're connected to you and they see the pain they've inflicted, but it's a whole different thing if someone is just crying because they feel like they've been wronged by the world. There's often an emotional inflexibility of abusers: They can't tolerate feelings like sadness and those emotions become outward expressions of anger." When King later asks Kelly what type of help he needs, he says, "I need somebody to help me not have a big heart."

As Kelly's emotions rise, he begins to pathologize the people who question him, grappling to note even weak fallacies in their reasoning. He practically gaslights the general public for what he perceives to be their lack of common sense. "How stupid would it be for me, with my crazy past and what I've been through—oh, right now I just think I need to be a monster, hold girls against their will, chain them up in my basement, and don't let them eat, don't let them out." Says Duncan, "When I heard the grandiosity, the narcissism of, 'I'm so important, I don't need to trick someone into being with me,' I thought about how much he really wants that public persona of 'I'm the great R. Kelly, these women came to me.'"

a monster.")">Just as Dr. Preston predicted, this defensive tirade spirals until Kelly is lording over King, screaming and weeping like he's acting out a dramatic scene from "Trapped in the Closet." "Y'all trying to kill me," he shrieks. In his anger, Kelly attempts to garner sympathy once again by invoking his children: "This is not about music, I'm trying to have a relationship with my kids." (After the release of "Surviving R. Kelly," Buku Abi, the singer's estranged daughter with Andrea Kelly, called her father "a monster.")

Kelly also attempts to relativize his alleged behavior by contrasting the things he's been accused of with the problems of "real girls" who have been abducted and raped. "They really do have chains on their wrists and they can't get out and they end up buried and dead." "That feels like such a classic minimization and dehumanization of the victims," Dr. Preston says. "It's such a tactic of denial, one of my supervisors once called that 'sleight of hand' like, 'Hey, look over here, just don't look at me.'"

When King asks Kelly if the sexual abuse he experienced in his youth has shaped his life, Kelly initially claims that the abuse hasn't affected him at all. But he then backpedals to say that any struggles he has faced in the past have affected his music, not his behavior. Some experts believe that "most people" who are abusers were abused themselves, King says, but "not all people that have been abused go out and abuse others." Kelly then proudly claims to be in the "not all" category. While King's point is meant to help Kelly see that violence can be cyclical, it only gives him another tool to deny his accountability. "To understand that kind of deflection," Duncan says, "you've got to understand that for many, they've been part of the pattern of abuse for so long, they believe they're innocent of it."

In another portion of the conversation, King asks Kelly about his relationship with two women he considers his girlfriends, Joycelyn Savage (21) and Azriel Clary (23). Both have defended the singer publicly, while their parents claim Kelly psychologically manipulated them into an abusive situation. Kelly flips the script by claiming that the women's parents should take responsibility for introducing their daughters to Kelly in the hopes that he could help their music careers. "What kind of father, what kind of mother, would sell their daughter to a man," he asks King, adding that Clary's parents wanted him to have sex with their daughter. "Basically what he's saying is, 'They were okay with it, why are you mad at me?'" Duncan explains. This takes some of the heat off him and casts the parents as the villains. King also spoke with Savage and Clary, though despite a previous agreement otherwise, Kelly was present during the women's joint interview. He looms in the background, at one point threatening to shut things down, while the women also shift blame onto their parents.

3 million plays on Twitter; King, whose contract is up for negotiation this year, is reportedly looking at a huge raise.">After the first segment of the interview aired, Gayle King's on-screen patience with Kelly was met with applause online. But many people, including the members of Color of Change, a racial justice organization that has been critical of Kelly, believe that CBS should be held accountable for providing a platform "to a sexual predator determined to undermine the credibility of his victims before he appears in court." This point is particularly salient when you consider that the interview has been packaged into a three-day, would-be ratings goldmine by the network. Clips from Wednesday's "CBS This Morning" episode have garnered almost 3 million plays on Twitter; King, whose contract is up for negotiation this year, is reportedly looking at a huge raise.

Look at me, look at the pain these lies are causing. It's a performative moment that Duncan, the clinical social worker, hasn't been able to shake. "His main focus was to look in that camera and try to garner sympathy. There are going to be people out there who think, Oh my God, this poor man. People saw the interview—it was on CBS! Is this going to make it very difficult to have a trial? Did he just skew a jury?"">As Kelly stands above King, screaming, she offers him a moment to collect himself. "I hope this camera keeps going," Kelly says, as powder is applied to his face. He seems to say, Look at me, look at the pain these lies are causing. It's a performative moment that Duncan, the clinical social worker, hasn't been able to shake. "His main focus was to look in that camera and try to garner sympathy. There are going to be people out there who think, Oh my God, this poor man. People saw the interview—it was on CBS! Is this going to make it very difficult to have a trial? Did he just skew a jury?"

__._,_.___

Posted by: SHARON <ceegee2006@yahoo.com>

Reply via web post

•

Reply to sender

•

Reply to group

•

Start a New Topic

•

Messages in this topic (1)

Have you tried the highest rated email app?

With 4.5 stars in iTunes, the Yahoo Mail app is the highest rated email app on the market. What are you waiting for? Now you can access all your inboxes (Gmail, Outlook, AOL and more) in one place. Never delete an email again with 1000GB of free cloud storage.

Visit Your Group